Crank That Bad Hair-do

He hopped out of bed and turned his common sense off. WTF is this. This doo honestly looks like the start of something new--something like a vegetable crop. What makes him think this is remotely attractive. -___-

Do your scalp and your fans a favor and sue the stylist NOW Souljah Boy. I prefer not to die young.

amen.

VOMIT: Tyra's Dateline Interview

OMG. I hate bad interviews and Tyra is really good at having bad interviews. You would think that someone who has their own TALKSHOW, would be a pro at answering questions HONESTLY and confessing up to their lace-front diva-ish ways. I mean Whitney Houston, as beautiful as she looks now, wasn't afraid to let Oprah know how to lace the Bali. However, sadly this did not happen. In the video below, watch how she gracefully answers the question about being the bitch on America's Next Top Model. I lied. What I meant to say is watch how she bickers back and forth with the interviewer about women & jealousy. Then what really cracked me up the most is how she committed the ultimate act of bitchassness by allowing her publicist to step in. What does Bossip.com say, "Hoe Sit Down"? YES. That is exactly what she needs to do. Seriously Tyra? OMG. Then on top of that she claims that she wants little Tyra's. FOL (fuck our lives) The world has enough divas at the current moment.

yuckers.

VOMIT: A Letter To Lady Gaga

Dear Ms. Germanotta (b.k.a. Lady Gaga)

My name is Mica Jenkins, and I am a former fan of yours writing to share my blatant opinion about your choice in outfits at this year MTV Video Music Awards. I understand that you are one of the most ground breaking artists of this millennium and you are very open about your sexuality, music, and as well as style. Over the past few months, I have supported your obsession with blonde weave and highly flammable outfits...however, you crossed the line. As I sat on my bed room eating one of my favorite dinners (chicken and rice), I anticipated your performance because I was going to purchase tickets to your concert in October with show stopping performer Kanye West. When you came on stage, I soon realized that I needed to call Visa and immediatly cancel those tickets. I think I speak for thousands of your viewers when I say...WTF WERE YOU DOING. Paparazzi is one of my favorite songs on your "The Fame" album. Pshh not anymore. To add to that, while I congratulate you on your win for Best New Artist, your acceptance outfit was just plain ridiculous. I find it hilarious because just before then some friends and I had brought a reasonably large amount of red lace underwear from Victoria's Secret a couple of days ago and what a coincidence that you found it and decided to wear it to give your speech. Show us some credit Gaga. To wrap up this seemingly long letter, I would like to offer some advice to further prevent these opinions,

1) Fire your stylist
2) Start a foundation to donate all of the eyeliner on your eyes to countries in need.
3) Fire your stylist.


I am pretty sure the result of this can be helpful to us all.

Thanks for your time,

Mica Jenkins

lmfao.

VOMIT: Nivea

That better be a child in this faux silk rag. I am completely aware that pregnancy gives one the mean munchies but this picture demonstrates an extreme cry for help. Please stop feeding this animal and her weave. The kitchen closes here Nivea.

VOMIT: Lotion's Highlighter Bangs

It doesn't bother you that this girl is named after one of the best damn moisturizer's in the world? Pshh. All I can say is tough luck for this one. Not only are you having a crack child by Lil Wayne but your bangs are the colored of my annotated history notes. Speaking of children, I guess Wayne didn't lie when he said he could fuck every girl in the world...what he failed to say was that he could impregnate them too. Smh X 2.

Poor New-New.

VOMIT: Kirstie Alley's fat ass.

Talk about a fail. I've never seen such someone's weight so bipolar. In a recent People magazine article, Kirstie Alley apologizes for gaining weight and exclaims "I'm fat and I look like hell"...bitch you just realizing?